Sunday, November 21, 2010

Limitless Pancakes.

This is an account of stuff that happened after our traditional Halloween demo team party. Yes, it's another sleepover, I bet you're excited!!
It had been a long night of sleeping on judo mats and nearly throwing Treasure and his phone across the street. You see, Treasure's alarm on his phone went off 3 times in the middle of the night and he didn't wake up to turn it off until the third. He made the mistake of showing us what his alarm sounded like the night before, so we knew it was his. The reason he showed us was because he wanted us to see 'how annoying it was'. Well, we found that out!
Anyway, I digress. We all eventually got up, and I had to take my prescription mouthwash (because I had just had jaw surgery) and expectorate it. Yes, the bottle said "rinse in mouth and expectorate". Expectorate became the word of the day after that. "I will chew you up, and expectorate you!" Treasure yelled at Tree, as Tree chased him around the studio laughing with a chambarra sword. Treasure had started the fight though, as he always did. Starting fights with multiple people who were bigger than him was his speciality.
After Treasure had taken enough of a beating we discovered that we were hungry!
"We should go to ihop!" Tiger suggested.
It sounded like a delicious idea. Water Fetcher had to leave though, so we said goodbye, then piled into a car. We arrived at ihop, then started making our selections.
"I think I'm going to get their limitless pancake combo." Tree decided. Treasure looked over at his menu in one sudden movement.
"Limitless pancakes?"
"Yeah," Tree began to explain, not because Treasure didn't know what it was, but because Treasure thought it was too good to be true. "You order this, and you just keep asking for pancakes and they bring you more."
"And... they have no limit??" Treasure asked in disbelief.
"Yes, I believe thats what the term 'limitless' implies." said Tree.
It was like Treasure's whole life had been made. When the waitress came to take our order we were all surprised that Treasure let Tree order first! He must've been biding his time. However, he was the next to order. "I'll get the limitless pancakes combo." he said with a very straight face, as though this wasn't exciting anymore.
"What would you like to drink?" the waitress asked.
"Mountain Dew." Treasure replied.
Then the rest of us ordered, most of us getting actual breakfast drinks like hot chocolate or orange juice, but Treasure was happy with his mountain dew.
While we waited we sat around and talked about random stuff, Treasure got punched by Tree a few times, and we got a new word of the day! Splendid, was the new word.
We soon all got our orders brought to the table, and as soon as the waitress left Treasure again started freaking out about his pancakes. "I already have 3, and they're limitless! They have no limit!"
Tree was pouring syrup on his own limitless pancakes, then offered to do the same for Treasure's. Treasure accepted his offer. "Just tell me when to stop." Tree said.
"Okay." Treasure replied. Then he started going on about limitless whatever again, and how splendid it was. Meanwhile, Tree kept pouring. None of us were really listening to Treasure, just watching the growing flash flood of syrup going all over his beloved limitless pancakes.
Finally he realized that something was going on and looked at his plate, which was now overflowing with syrup. "Ah!! Stop! STOP!! The syrup is limitless!"
Tree stopped pouring and started laughing, "You didn't tell me to stop!"
"Not splendid Tree, not splendid..." Treasure said as he wiped up the syrup with a napkin. The rest of us just started laughing.
Tio was done with his entire meal in about 30 seconds. "I'm still hungry!" he whined.
"Dude," Treasure said almost scoldingly, "you should've gotten the limitless pancakes. They're limitless! They have NO LIMIT!" he finished by leaning across the table with the most excited expression I've ever seen on his face.
"Let me have some of your pancakes." Tio said.
"Limitless pancakes." Treasure corrected.
"No! I'm not going to say that! It's just gotten annoying!"
Treasure gasped, "How dare you talk that way! You're not getting any!"
Tio glared at Treasure, then slapped him with a napkin. I ended up giving Tio some of my food, since I'm never all that hungry and he's our resident bottomless pit.
The waitress then came by to check on everything.
"Can I get some more pancakes?" Treasure asked, with a quick 'haha' type glance at Tio.
"Yeah, me too?" asked Tree.
"You sure can." The waitress responded.
"And is the soda refillable?" Treasure asked.
"Yep, do you want another Mountain Dew?"
"Yes, please."
As the waitress walked away, Treasure started freaking out again. "You guys should've gotten soda! It's limitless too! It has no LIMIT!!!! Just like the limitless pancakes!!" He then started laughing, and we all got nervous. Thats all Treasure needed this morning was limitless caffein.
"Stop with the limitless thing!" Tio shouted at Treasure.
"Never! It's limitless!"
"Don't do anything drastic," Tiger warned Tio, "we're in public."
Tio grumbled and sat back instead of throttling Treasure. Treasure smirked at Tio.
"When we get back to the studio you're dead!" Tio whispered across the table.
As soon as we had eaten our fill, and pulled Treasure away from the limitless pancakes that had no limit, we piled back into the car.
Treasure's seatbelt was locked, so as he pulled on it he said, "Uh! I wish the seatbelt was limitless!" It looked like splendid was no longer our word of the day...
"Then if you got in a wreck you would just keep flying even with a seatbelt on!" Tio pointed out.
Treasure seemed to consider this, but only for a second because then he kept going. Limitless this, limitless that, it has no limit, it's all just limitless... blah limitless blah...
Tio got mad and put Treasure in a koga hold. "AH!!! The pain is limitless!" he screamed.
"And the jokes are limitless! They have no limit!" Tio responded sarcastically.
Anyway, Treasure still hasn't quite gotten over the whole limitless thing. I taught him how to say "limitless pancakes" in sign language, and he enjoys that! Now it just makes us all happy every time we hear the word Limitless. After all, it has no limit.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

How to Pick a Fight With the Wrong Group of People

At last, we were up at the cabin, home of awesome memories and promise of new ones. Once it got dark, a group of the older kids decided to gather out in a clearing to go stargazing. We all lay down on the ground right next to Man Cub's car and just relaxed and stared at the stars. I was in between Water Fetcher and Hiss. After we had been relaxing for a while, Water Fetcher said, "Oh my gosh! I'm so stressed! With black belt testing, and school... and I'm only going to get more stressed after fall semester starts..."

I cut her short with, "Hey! We're stargazing!"

"I like Bandit's style." Tiger said laughing.

A few more minutes went by, then Water Fetcher again broke the silence by saying, "You know what form I hate?"

"Who cares? We're stargazing." I said.

"Yeah, ma'am, we're stargazing!" Hiss reminded her.

A few more minutes, then I heard Water Fetcher whisper "Oh my gosh..."

"Ma'am..." I said "Are you stressing out again?"

She sat up a little, "How could you tell?"

"Because I can read minds!"

She stared at me skeptically.

"Oh my gosh..." I mimicked.

"Oh... right." Water Fetcher said laying back down. "Sorry."

"Water Fetcher, relax, this isn't the place to stress. We're here to retreat." Man Cub said, sprawled out on the ground

"Yes sir..." Water Fetcher whined.

After a few minutes of different conversation, we heard a twig snap behind us. We all went silent and turned around. More suspenseful silence, then out jumped Treasure and Zombie, yelling and shining flashlights in our eyes.

"Ah! TREASURE" Man Cub yelled covering his eyes, as Treasure tried to blind him. Tiger put him in a headlock as I stole his flashlight and gave him a taste of his own medicine. He screamed and closed his eyes. Then I went to seek revenge on Zombie, who was already being taken down by Tio and Man Cub.

After that whole ordeal was over, we were all full of energy. Fluffy started climbing on Man Cub's car, then Man Cub shoved him off and started climbing up himself. He got to the top, and went into his victory pose, as everyone clapped.

"Wait!" He said, jumping down and getting into his car. He turned on the CD player cranked it up. The song "The Fish" came on. It goes, 'Everybody's doing the fish, yeah, yeah, yeah..." So of course, we all started doing our own rendition of 'the fish' as Man Cub danced on top of his car. Even Treasure was doing the Fish!

After the song was over we all started laughing and messing around loudly.

"Sorry, guys. I had to get that out of my system!" Man Cub said.

"Its okay, sir, I think we all did." I said.

It was then that three men approached from the cabin across the way.

"Hey guys, could you quiet down? We have babies that are trying to sleep." One of them said.

"Oh sorry!"

"Sorry, we'll quiet down."

"We didn't know... sorry!"

No denying it, we were being very loud and we did feel bad.

"Thanks guys." He said, then they started walking away.

"There are a lot of people here! It's the freaking wilderness!" Tio whispered. We all laughed.

The three guys must've thought we were making fun of the because they started coming back. "What did you say??" One of them asked very accusingly.

"Nothing..." Tio faltered, "Have a good night sir."

"What are you guys even doing out here? Do you have a cabin or something?" Another asked angrily.

"Yeah, we have a cabin back there." Man Cub responded.

"Well, can't you guys go party over there or something."

"Yeah, we're headed back there.... goodnight sir." Tio said.

"Come on what did you say?" said the one who couldn't let go. "If I ask nicely will you tell me?"

"He just said that there were a lot of people out here for the wilderness." Man Cub said.

"That really is all he said." I backed him up.

"We're sorry, we didn't know you had babies." Man Cub said.

A few people laughed, which just set these guys off even more.

It was then that they started cussing at us. Man Cub switched the grip on his flashlight, and I knew for a fact that he had at least two knives on his person. At this point, I decided that these people weren't worth my attention and started walking away. Treasure came with me. We were only a short distance away, when we heard them start making threats.

"Look, if you're going to be a *&%$%#$#, I'm going to have you in that mud in 3 seconds!" This was when Treasure and I both started laughing quietly and adding up their odds. First off, these guys were obviously drunk. 3 drunk guys vs 9 martial artists ranging only from 2nd degree black belt to red belt, training for years how to deal with people like them. 3 of us could all share one of them! Second, they were treating us like a bunch of delinquents. We were probably the most respectful group of teenagers they would find. We referred to each other as Ma'am and Sir, for heaven's sake!

Treasure whispered, "You'll have me in the mud in 3 seconds, I'll have you in intensive care in 1."

"They probably chose the worst group of people to pick a fight with!" I laughed.

"Yeah," Treasure said. "A martial arts camp!"

Soon we were all gathered back at the cabin. "Can you believe those guys?" Zombie whispered coming from the trees and joining the circle we had created.

"I'm gonna have you in the mud in 3 seconds!" Tio said, making us all laugh.

"I did feel bad." Man Cub started, "Before they started swearing at us."

"Well... we were being loud..." Hiss said with some guilt.

"Hiss, we said we were sorry, they're the ones who turned it into a huge ordeal." I reasoned.

She nodded, still looking a little guilty.

"There were 9 of us and 3 of them!" Fluffy pointed out, with almost an excited tone of voice.

"There are so many morons in the world." I said.

"Agreed." Tiger said.

"Why are we whispering?" Zombie asked. "Are we still worried about waking up their babies?"

"No." Whispered Treasure. "We're worried about waking up Kwanjangnim!"

At this everyone started laughing.

"Lets see how many years of martial arts training we have between us." Water Fetcher said.

"Man Cub, how many do you have?"

"11 years."

"Treasure?"

"Eight"

"Zombie?"

"Six"

We went around the whole circle.

"So..." Water Fetcher calculated. "Between all of us we have almost 70 years! We don't stand a chance!"

We all started laughing.

A purple belt started walking into the woods.

"Woah, wait! Where are you going?" Man Cub asked, halting him.

"Just to the car to get some stuff, sir." he said.

"Uh... not alone." Man Cub said, following him into the woods. When they came back Man Cub looked upset.

"Did they come to get you sir?" Fluffy asked.

"No." Man Cub said, "But they were blasting music in their cabin."

This news was followed by a series of outcries such as,

"Are you serious?"

"So much for babies..."

"Morons!"

"Do you still feel bad Hiss?"

Then Tiger chimed in, saying "Well guys, think of it this way. In the morning, they won't remember any of this. Plus, they don't know that they picked a fight with the wrong group of people.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Vampire Scavenger Hunt: My Cemetery Senses are Tingling (Part 3)

"Are we still going to the mall?" I asked as Treasure and I arrived last in the car.

"I don't think we have time." Christy responded. "But if we get to Midway really fast, then we can do some stuff there."

"Like spelling 'vampires rock' in fries." said Jay-spoon.

So, we drove all the way to Midway, through the winding Provo canyon. I let Jay-spoon borrow my necklace for a while, and when he went to give it back ended up throwing it at Treasure's head. Treasure turned around and said, "Where's the pie?"

"Well, we don't have one." I reminded him. "But he can wear the 'I disrespected my captain' sign."

Treasure reached into the manila envelope that contained the shameful sign and handed it to Jay-spoon, who sighed and put it on.

We finally reached Midway and consulted the list of tasks.

"We need to pose in front of a cemetery." Water Fetcher said.

"I'm sure there's a cemetery around here..." Christy said.

"There must be." I reasoned. "Cause people never stop dyin'."

"Thank you, Bandit." Water Fetcher said.

"I can tell there's one nearby." Christy said. "I can feel it. My cemetery senses are tingling..."

"CEMETERY!!!" I yelled pointing at a sign that said 'Midway Cemetery' with an arrow pointing left.

"Woah... Thats just freaky." Treasure said.

"You have cemetery senses!!" Jay-spoon exclaimed.

"I didn't even know!" Christy said, surprised at herself.

We found the cemetery and stood in front of it's steel classic cemetery gate while Water Fetcher took the picture.

"Is there anything else we can do here?" Christy asked.

"Don't we need to find a statue?" Treasure asked in response.

"Yeah, there should be one in a cemetery." Water Fetcher said.

"Okay, you guys walk through and I'll drive to the other side to pick you up." Christy decided, returning to the car.

We all wandered through the graveyard looking for a statue. We found one of an angel praying. "Okay, what do we need to do with the statue?" I asked.

"Someone needs to pose identically next to it, and someone else needs to be acting like a vampire ready to attack." Water Fetcher paraphrased from the list.

I got down on my knees and pretended to pray, while Treasure poised for attack. Water Fetcher took the picture, and we all dove back into the car.

"We need to find a place to get fries." Christy said. "Did you guys see any place like that?"

"There was some grill at a gas station." Treasure said. "They might have fries."

"Lets go check." said Water Fetcher.

We got to the gas station, and I turned around and looked at the license plate on the car behind us!

"VB!!!" I yelled pointing excitedly at the car.

"Really?" Christy said turning around.

"Look! They're even in order!" Treasure said running over to the car.

"Okay Treasure. Pose like a bat." Water Fetcher instructed, pulling out her camera.

Treasure did his best bat impersonation while Water Fetcher documented it.

"Okay, in the gas station we need to get fries, and build a bat cave out of condiments." I said.

"I'll go order fries, and you guys build the bat cave." Water Fetcher said, running into the grill section of the gas station. The rest of went into the regular gas station part.

I found the condiments, Treasure grabbed a paper fry tray and started putting ketchup packets all around it. We built a pretty awesome bat cave, then Water Fetcher came over and took a picture of it.

"Did you order fries?" I asked.

"Yeah, lets go back to the grill place." She said.

We all entered the grill section, but as we went in, we passed the lady working at the counter of the gas station. She had long dark hair.

"Weren't we supposed to get our picture taken with somebody with long dark hair?" Christy whispered to me.

"I thought it was black hair..." I responded. "I can't remember though. We'll have to consult the list after we're done with the fry task."

"So what are you guys doing?" asked one of the ladies at the grill.

"We're doing a vampire scavenger hunt on the way to a cabin." Water Fetcher told them. "We have to spell 'Vampires Rock' with fries."

"That sounds fun!" said the other lady. "Well, we haven't seen anyone else like you guys in here yet. Is it a birthday party or something?"

"No, its our martial arts group." Water Fetcher responded. "We do something like this every year for our Summer camp."

"Thats awesome!" said the first. "Is there anything else we can help you with in your scavenger hunt?"

"I don't think so..." Water Fetcher said, consulting the list. "We're almost out of time, and we only have hard tasks left."

"Like what?" asked the second.

"Like, find a coffin..." Water Fetcher began reading.

"We could go to a mortuary." Treasure suggested. Then looked at Jay-spoon. "Where's your sign?"

He pulled it out of his pocket. "I lost the pin."

"Clip it onto your name label." I suggested.

Jay-spoon signed and clipped it on. "I'm sorry captain! I didn't mean to hit you with Bandit's necklace!"

"Well, somebody had to wear the sign." I said in a reasonable voice.

"Some of those tasks sound hard." one of the clerks said. "How are you getting them done?"

"Well, the ones we have done were a little more easy." Water Fetcher told them. (She had continued reading during the whole exchange with Treasure, Jay-spoon, and I)

We got our fries, then looked at them.

"Woah! These are huge!" Jay-spoon said.

"And hot!" Treasure said recoiling his hand fast after touching one.

"I guess we'll have to break them to spell it." I said.

Christy got a bunch of napkins and laid them on a table, while the two ladies at the front counter watched us with interest.

We began the spelling process, with Christy breaking the fries, Jay-spoon handing them to Treasure, Emma handing them to me, and Water Fetcher watching to make sure it looked good. Treasure was spelling 'Vampires' and I was spelling 'Rock'.

Needless to say, I finished before Treasure, and stared spelling the end of 'vampires'.

"It's not showing up very well..." Water Fetcher pointed out.

"You could put some fry sauce on them." Suggested one of the ladies at the counter. "That would help it to show up on the camera."

"Good idea!" Said Water Fetcher, grabbing a bottle of fry sauce. As soon as Treasure and I finished she began outlining the inside of the fries with the sauce.

"Oh, yeah! Thats much better!" Said the other at the counter.

Water Fetcher took a picture, then we commenced feasting on the fries. They were really good too! Not just salty, but seasoned too.

"That Lady out there had long dark hair." Christy reminded us. "Did the list say long black hair, or long dark hair?"

Water Fetcher consulted the list. "Long dark hair! This could work!"

We crossed into the gas station section of the store to the lady at the front counter. The two working at the grill followed us, showing a great amount of interest in our quest.

Christy explained our situation to her and asked her if she would pose all scary with us for a picture.

"Oh." She said, looking at her fellow employees, "I see how it is. 'There's a scary looking lady over here! Come get your picture taken for your vampire game!'" She was dripping with sarcasm.

"No!" Water Fetcher tried to defend, "We just need someone with long dark hair..."

"Uh-huh..." She said sarcastically, while the other two employees giggled behind us.

"Okay, I'll do it!"

We all gathered around and posed in our scariest fasion, while Water Fetcher took the picture. As we left, we could still hear her mumbling about being 'scary looking'. We got back in the car and Jay-spoon said, "Those people were awesome!"

"Yeah, they were almost more interested than us!" I said. "Wait, Jay-spoon. Where's your sign?" His sign was missing again.

"I don't know! I must've lost it!"

"That soon?" Treasure asked.

There was a red sharpie from signing Hiss's shirt (for her birthday) and I grabbed it. "Here Jay-spoon, I'll put it somewhere you won't lose it." I then proceeded to write the whole shameful phrase on his arm. Now he was stuck with it for at least a few days.

"Well, lets head to our destination. I don't want to be late." Christy said.

"Agreed." Treasure said.

"Aye captain!" I said.

We arrived at the resort first, followed by Dancer's team, which was then followed by Laurie's team. We were all showing off our team's painted nails, and swapping stories, and counting down the seconds before Man Cub's team lost half it's points.f

We all cheered when that time arrived and there was no sign of Man Cub's team. "Yeah!! They lost half their points!" Zombie cheered.

"Not yet, according to my clock." Hiss said, raining temporarily on Zombie's parade. But even when Hiss's clock reached the end, there was no sign of Man Cub's team.

"Does someone want to call him and see if he's close?" Chungsanim asked.

"I will." I volunteered. I dialed Man Cub's number. "Hey Man Cub, where are you? You don't know? What...? You're looking at Tiger? Oh... you're cursing at Tiger. Okay, let me give the phone to someone who can tell you where you are." I handed the phone to Kwanjangnim, who eventually got them safely to the rest of the group, then we headed up to the cabin for more fun and adventure.

For those of you playing along at home, we tied for second place. :)

Vampire Scavenger Hunt: Freaking Perfectionist (Part 2)

We got to Walmart and started out with our same game plan that we had for the last store. Captain instructed us to meet back in isle 1.

I ran to get the food coloring and found Treasure with his bloody steak. While we were waiting I saw a nail salon. "Treasure! The list said that we had to go convince a nail technician to paint one of someone's nail half black and half red!"

"Okay, go talk to them and see if someone will. Give me your food coloring." I handed it over and ran to the nail salon.

I went up to the nail technician and explained my situation to him. He agreed, after he was done doing someone else's nails. I thanked him and said I'd be right back. I ran back to Treasure, "He'll do it!" I told him.

"Well, go get it done right now!"

"I have to wait for Water Fetcher so she can take pictures." I reminded him.

It was then that Water Fetcher showed up. "Water Fetcher! I convinced the nail tech to paint one of my nails! You need to come take pictures!"

"Okay, lets go!" She said putting her garlic in Treasure's outstretched hand.

We both ran back to the salon. The man was still doing someone else's nails, so we had to wait. After waiting for a while, the lady who was having her nails done said, "Isn't the point of a scavenger hunt to get done fast? You can do hers after you're done with this nail." she said, smiling at us.

"Thanks!" We said.

I went over to the polish colors to pick out the black and red polish, as the nail tech had instructed me. I then sat at the chair and held out one of my hands. The nail guy took it and started filing it. He then started very sloooooowly painting the nail half black.

"It doesn't have to look good." I said. "It just has to be half black, half red."

He looked at me, then continued his slow work.

Water Fetcher snapped a few pictures. The nail guy then reached for my other hand. "Oh, it only has to be one nail." I told him.

Again he looked at me, then took the other hand and started slowly filing that too.

Water Fetcher looked at him, looked at me, then said, "I'm going to go find a Twilight related news article." and left.

Treasure and Jay-Spoon showed up before long. "We got all the stuff!" Treasure announced. "I even found a kinda vampire looking card... I hope it counts as a greeting card." It looked like a label type thing, but who cares?

"Okay, Water Fetcher is looking for a news article." I informed them as the nail tech took my first hand back and started slowly on the red. "Go get her to take your picture!"

They both set off to look for her, while I sat impatiently in the salon chair. The three of them returned about five minutes later.

"We found some people to scare!" Jay-Spoon said excitedly. "We were supposed to find 3 people and pose like vampires while they acted scared!"

"Awesome!" I said, thinking I was almost done. The guy got up and walked away, and I put my two nails in front of the fan. He then returned with a shiny polish, took my hand and started slowly coating my nail in it.

I turned to my team with a desperate look on my face and said, "Go find something else to do!"

"Okay, we'll meet you back here!" Treasure said, as the all ran off into the store.

When finally the nail guy was done, he had me stick my hands in front of a fan. I sat there for a while, then decided that I was on too tight of a timetable, got up, and started to walk away.

"Now be careful!" The nail tech warned.

"I will! Thanks!" I said, exiting the salon and seeking out my friends.

I found them and we finished a few more tasks including: Spelling BAT on the ground with ourselves, finding an exact outfit we were told to, finding someone with honey colored eyes, posing artistically with 5 different kinds of forks, finding a vampire doll and posing like we'd won the lottery with it, and a few others.

We then decided to leave the store and head for midway, and get more done once closer to the cabin. We got to the parking lot and Water Fetcher said, "We need to find a license plate with VB on them, for Vampire Bat."

"Okay, everyone find a row of cars, and look as we go back to our car!" Treasure instructed.

We couldn't find any. I ended up with Treasure in the back of the parking lot. "Ugh, where's the car?" He asked. "NAVIGATOR!!!" He shouted, pointing at me.

"Captain, the car is located somewhere in the outer recesses of this parking lot!" I responded.

Treasure laughed, then I saw the car driving toward us. "There captain! Beam me up Scottie!"

Part 3: My Cemetery Senses are Tingling COMING

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Vampire Scavenger Hunt: Team Bats (Part 1)


We all gathered in the lobby so Kwanjagnim could announce what fun filled adventure we were going to have on our way to the cabin for the epic yearly retreat!
"Okay! Listen up! If you don't listen, then you will be buried under the studio!" Kwanjagnim yelled over the crowd.
A chorus of nervous "Yes Ma'am"'s followed.
"We are going to having a vampire themed scavenger hunt! Apparently vampires are popular with you people right now..."
Man Cub and I gave each other skeptical looks. Others giggled in a 'yeah right' sort of way, while some just said, "uuuhhh..."
"Anyway," Kwanjagnim continued, "Here are the rules! If you break the rules, you will be buried under the studio!"
"Thats what happened to Jon..." Man Cub said in an ominous tone.
"You must have documented photographic evidence of every task you complete. You have 2 hours to complete as many tasks as possible. If you are late, you lose half your points. We are all meeting in Midway at a resort that will be on a map in your packet. You have a captain. You must always respect your captain! If you don't respect your captain, you have to either get 16 ounces of whipped cream in your hair, do 30 pushups over a pie, or wear a sign that says 'oops, I disrespected my captain. I won't do that again! I promise!' for the rest of the game!"
This was greeted by much of laughter.
Kwanjagnim smiled and went on. "The captain will decide who has what position. The positions are; you have one Driver, a captain's assistant, a navigator, a photographer and a safety manager. The safety manager is supposed to keep you from breaking the law or getting yourself hurt. You will not break the law in this game! This includes speeding. If you get a speeding ticket, you are disqualified. If you get arrested then you will be buried under the studio, AFTER you get out of prison!"
More laughter.
"The navigator makes sure you get there on time, and that you actually GET there! The driver, obviously drives. The captain's assistant helps the captain out with anything, and the photographer gets photographic evidence that you completed your task. Any questions?"
"No ma'am!"
"Okay, then without further ado, I will announce your teams. When I announce your teams I will give you an envelope. Only the captain is to open the envelope when I say so! Our first team is team Bats. This team will include Kristi, Water Fetcher, Treasure, Bandit, Jay-spoon, and Emma. Now, you all go onto the mat and figure out positions."
I was excited as I separated from the rest of the group. This sounded like a domination team! And just a fun group of people to spend the next two hours with. We gathered in a circle on the mat to decide who would do what.
"So obviously I'm the driver." Christy said (being the only one with a car), walking in with a bunch of green mardi gras necklaces with labels on them. She put the necklace labeled 'Driver' around her own neck. "Now, who should the safety manager be?" She asked looking at the team. We too looked around.
"I nominate Emma." I said. "She seems least likely to do something stupid."
"Yeah, Emma!" Jay-spoon agreed.
Treasure nodded in his characteristic way.
"Yeah, Emma, you are the most safe out of us." Water Fetcher agreed.
Christy place the 'safety manager' label around Emma's neck. "Water Fetcher, do you want to be the photographer? You have your own camera." Christy pointed out.
"Sure, I'll be the photographer!" Water Fetcher said, receiving her necklace.
"Okay... navigator." Christy said as all eyes fell on me.
"Oh no!" I said. "I don't know how to get there or how to use a map!"
"No! You have to be! Treasure and Jay-spoon don't know the way there! And you're the next oldest!" Christy reasoned.
"Okay, but I apologize in advanced for when we get lost..." I said accepting my own necklace.
"That leaves Treasure and Jay-spoon!" Christy said. "I vote Treasure captain and Jay-spoon assistant captain!" She then handed them their necklaces.
"Hey! How come Treasure's is gold!?" Jay-spoon asked.
"Because he's the Captain, and special!" I said.
Treasure straightened up and put his hands on his hips in a 'self-important' stance.
"Well, lets go outside and prepare to dominate!" Linnea said, as Trevor and I practiced awesome team poses.
As we went outside we passed Man Cub's team and HAD to give them dirty looks and trash talk!
"Hi sir," I said. "I knew I should've kept your keys." (I had stolen his keys earlier and had given them back about 5 minutes before now).
"I knew I should've slashed your tires." he shot back.
Soon, all the teams were outside. Kwanjagnim then came out last. "Captains, get ready to open your envelopes!" She announced. I prepared to knock Zombie's out of his hands, but he thought it was just a high-five. Fail.
"You can complete your tasks in any order, if you just go down the list you will probably lose!" She said. You have until 7 o' clock! Not a minute more! Ready, GO!!!"
Team Bats rushed into Christy's car.
"OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN!!!" Water Fetcher yelled out the door, since Treasure was the only one not in the car.
"Hey! Thats what stage crew used to call me." I said, as Treasure vaulted into the car, ripping the envelope open.
He read the first task, "Go to the movie theater and find a poster of the scariest movie playing and pose scarily next to it."
"There aren't really any scary movies playing right now..." I said.
"That right!" Treasure said pointing at me. "We have a movie theater person!"
"What else is there? Water Fetcher asked, "Maybe we can do other things at the same time." she took the list from Treasure.
"Is there some place where we can get a bunch of stuff done at the same time?" I asked.
"What if we went to the mall?" Water Fetcher suggested. "We could get tons of stuff done there!"
"Okay, lets head out and keep reading." Christy said backing out. "I want to see if I can beat Tio out of here."
We drove down the road as Water Fetcher continued reading. "We need to find a cosmetic dentistry office..."
"DENTIST OFFICE!!!" I yelled pointing out the window.
"Is it cosmetic though?" Christy asked.
"General and COSMETIC!!!" Treasure yelled, right as we passed it.
"Oh... well, we'll find another one." Christy said, not wanting to turn around in traffic. " Is there some stuff we can't get done at the mall? Why don't we stop at Smiths right there?" She asked. "Its sure to have lots of stuff."
"Yeah." Water Fetcher said. "Like this one... Find a bloody steak, garlic, red food coloring, and a vampire related greeting card."
"Okay!" Said captain Treasure, "I'll go get the bloody steak, Bandit, you get the red food coloring, and Water Fetcher, you get the garlic. The rest of you go find the greeting card."
"Aye captain!" I said, saluting.
As soon as Christy parked we all ran for the store. Treasure, Water Fetcher, and I all found our stuff with relative ease, but as we all met at the front of the store, there were still 3 missing.
"Okay, well lets do another task while we go look for them!" Water Fetcher decided. "Bandit, what can we do?"
I now had the list of tasks. "Find someone with honey-colored eyes..."
"DOES ANYONE HAVE HONEY-COLORED EYES??" Water Fetcher yelled across the store, making Treasure and I jump. Nobody replied, obviously. But as we walked toward the greeting card section, Water Fetcher kept shouting that.
"There aren't any vampire related greeting cards!" Jay-spoon said as we reached them, pointing at the row of cards. "We've looked a few times!" Jay-spoon added as Treasure started checking their work.
"Maybe we can do something else." I said, handing the list back to Water Fetcher. "Look, books! Didn't it say something about finding a copy of Twilight?"
"Yeah! It has to be over there!" Christy said, heading over to the books.
We ended up finding a copy of Twilight: The Graphic Novel. Water Fetcher readied her camera.
"Bandit, look like your reading it to a bunch of kids, Jay-spoon look like you're extremely interested." We did so and Water Fetcher took the picture.
"I say we don't waste anymore time here and go somewhere else. There's a Walmart down the street. It will probably have more stuff." I suggested.
"Well, we're already here..." Christy said slowly.
"CAPTAIN!" I shouted, turning toward Treasure.
"Lets leave." Treasure decided. "This store doesn't seem to have exactly what we need. It didn't have the greeting card...so... everyone put your stuff back and we will meet back at the car!"

Monday, July 26, 2010

First day on Elite Team

"The only reason I'm here, is to get my belt." I informed Treasure and Tree as we placed our overstuffed duffle bags on the shelf.
Tree laughed, "Thats the only reason you're here?" Then he seemed to think about it. "I can't say that I blame you." he said, cocking his head to the side.
Treasure nodded.
Tree then strolled to the other side of the room, leaving Treasure and I in awkward silence.
"Sooo..." I said in an attempt to make conversation. "I... saw Inception today. And my brain promptly exploded."
"Yeah! My parents saw that, and they were like..." Treasure then motioned his hands going around his head.
"Wait! Treasure, What?" Tree chimed in from across the room.
Treasure looked at him asking him in Treasure to repeat what he had just said.
"What did your parents see?" Tree asked again, walking back toward us.
"Inception" Treasure responded.
"Was it good?" Tree asked looking at me.
"It was WAY good! But confusing. I thought I had a theory, but then the last scene just blew my theory away."
"I'll go see it then!"
Treasure then said something, more of a mumble and motioned throwing things up in the air.
Tree started cracking up. "Did you get what he said??" He said through laughter. "He said he's going to throw lollipops at the ceiling so they stick, spelling 'Hi Bandit, From Treasure'. "
"Well in that case, I'm going to drag you back in there and make you go get them." I said.
Treasure started jumping and reaching toward the air.
"Don't worry Bandit, I won't be too mean." Tree assured me. "I'll just put all the arm rests down."
"Thanks Tree, you're a saint." I said sarcastically.
"OOOH BANDIT, YOU'RE HERE!!!" Came an excited voice from across the room. Suddenly I was in an embrace.
"I'm not here for elite team, Water Fetcher!" I said being squished.
"Oh..." she said, letting go and sounding disappointed.
"She's just here to get her belt." Tree informed her.
I was in an embrace again before I could even recover from the last one. "Well, whoever is running elite team tonight should give Bandit her belt!! I want to see it on her cute little...red belt...face!"
"Red belt face?" I asked as she let go, but there was no answer.
"ELITE TEAM! LINE UP!!" Aslan yelled.
Everyone lined up, and I sat down on the sidelines where I usually go.
"Bandit! What are you doing?" Aslan more or less shouted.
"I'm sitting here, Sir."
"No you're not! You're lining up!"
"You're on elite team now." Tree smiled.
I felt really excited, then ran up to join the class. We lined up, as is normal, then bowed in.
"Tree, will you go get that red... piece of fabric thats over there on that shelf?"
He laughed, "Yes sir." He grabbed my belt then stood up next to Aslan.
"BANDIT!!" Aslan yelled.
"Yes sir!" I responded bowing and running up to him.
"Does anyone have a camera?" Aslan asked looking around.
"Yeah!" Said Dancer, "do you have you're phone Bandit? Do you want a picture on it??"
"Not particularly..." I said, now feeling very 'on the spot'.
Dancer then disappeared for a moment then returned with a camera. This was a very different promotion ceremony for me.
"Turn around and take off your belt." Aslan instructed.
I did so, then handed it back to him, who handed it to Tree at his side. I heard the camera clicking. He then took my new red belt and tied it around my waist. "Okay, turn around and face the class. Bandit, Red belt, Cheriet, Kunyeh." Everyone bowed to me, then erupted into applause that was much louder then the usual rank advancement applause. I knew I was back where I belonged.
I stepped in front of Tree, who handed my old belt back to me. "Congratulations Ma'am." he said. "Unless you want me to..."
"Tie it around my feet? Yeah!" I said. (This is custom)
"Okay, okay." Tree whispered, bending down and tying my belt around my feet as people behind me giggled at his confusion. "Okay, step out..." Tree instructed quietly. I complied, then stepped out of my previous belt. Tree picked it up off the floor and handed it to me. "Congratulations."
I didn't take the belt.
"You're supposed to..." Aslan whispered motioning both his hands forward.
"Aren't you going to put it around my neck?" I asked.
"Yeah, come on Tree!" Came a voice from behind.
"I want the WHOLE ceremony!" I said.
"Okay, okay! Sorry. I haven't done this in a long time!" Tree defended putting the belt around my neck. "NOW, congratulations!" he said for the third time, holding out his hand. I took it and shook.
I ran back to my place in line with everybody clapping again. I was on top of the world. This rocked!
"So... we aren't allowed to do any crazy flying killingness this week..." Aslan informed everyone, "Because pre-testing is this Saturday. So don't break yourselves!!" Most eyes in the room went to Treasure, who looked around uneasily.
Aslan continued, "This means no flying around, no skateboarding, no parkour, no extreme sports, no letting your friends drag you underneath doors..." on this last example Kenny pointed at Treasure who looked down. "Don't do ANYTHING stupid for the next two months!"
Fluffy put his hand halfway up, "Does that include-"
"YES!!" Aslan replied pointing hard at him, who put his hand down and looked at the ground just like Treasure.
"Sooo... go do the demo!" He said walking away, "Line up!!" Everybody ran to their rehearsed places while I walked over to the side of the studio, having no rehearsed place and not even knowing the demo.
"Bandit, Get over HERE!" Hiss said almost angrily pointing to a spot on the floor. "You are in the demo!"
"I don't even know the demo!" I said.
"Oh, come on!" Water Fetcher said. "We'll teach it to you! Come on!"
I ran over to some random spot on the floor and Water Fetcher taught me the form while the whole team went through it slowly with me.
"...then you slide up into this..." she said.
I tried... "What the..."
"Ku San Ku" Treasure said.
"I don't even know Taguek 8!"
"You're delivering a pizza." Fluffy said, doing the move again for me slowly.
I tried again. Fluffy came up to me and moved my hand into the correct position. "Oh, okay." I said.
We went on to the next move. "This is a Taguek 8." Tree said. "You'll get it easy."
I nodded and continued.
Water Fetcher continued, "Now, Middle knife... front snap...punch... crecent, turn... up....one, two, three.... and KILL!" We all took a isometric punch to the ground and kioped. It was awesome!
"This is the part where sparks come out of our fists!" Tree said.
"Yeah!" I said, liking this idea as Treasure reenacted it for me, complete with sound effects.
"This time with music!" Said Dancer. Suddenly everyone started talking to me.
"This isometric move is 1, 2,3..." Said Water Fetcher.
"Just follow the person in front of you..." Dancer said.
"...delivering a pizza" Fluffy said.
Treasure looked like he was saying something.
"I lost the game." Came Tree's voice, which had just materialized behind me, making me jump.
"Game?" I asked.
"The game is to not think about the game, if you think about the game you lose the game and must announce that you have just lost the game..." (remember, all of this dialogue is happening at the same time)
"Bandit! Did you get that? Bandit!" Hiss was saying.
"Everyone stop! There are like, ten people trying to talk to me right now!!" I yelled, and everything went quiet. "Lets just start the demo, I'll do my best." I said.
This seemed to satisfy everyone and we continued the demo.
Tiger then came in and had us practice 360 kicks.
"I don't know 360 kicks!" I said.
"POOF! Now you do!" She said.
"Woah..."
"360's go!" Then she whispered to me, "Don't worry, I'm not going to make you do them tonight." So I held the kicking pad for Dancer while she did her kicks.
After that, Tiger, "Okay, everybody, two lines down there! Okay, thats 3, I asked for two! One, two! There we go! Flying doubles!!!"
"I can't do flying doubles!" I said.
"Bad word! Five pushups!"
I was doing pushups when Water Fetcher noticed. "Bandit, what are you doing?"
"Pushups for saying I can't do something!" I replied.
"Yep, cuz I'm mean!" Tiger said almost triumphantly.
We continued with the flying doubles, first doing a flying double snap kick, followed by a double roundhouse, then lastly a flying double side kick.
"No fair!! You're better at them than me!" Water Fetcher complained to me. "I just have too much of an 'oh crap' instinct."
"It's okay Water Fetcher, I have a feeling my lack of 'oh crap' instinct is going to get me killed some day." I responded.
Next, we did split kick, which went alright, then we finally bowed out of elite team (after a "don't do anything stupid" reminder). I received more congratulations for getting my belt, but all I care about is that I'm back with MY team.