Retreat!!

Ah, SWAT team summer retreat, where we spend our days performing spectacular acrobatics and destroying innocent fruit with powerful kicks. The day had finally come when we were going to make the journey to Kwanjagnim’s cabin. We all knew what was waiting for us, it had been planned weeks in advance. It was a murder mystery! At the beginning of the week we had all been given new aliases for a CSI game that we were going to play. My name was Giosette Grissom, I was an Italian who was completely full of myself. I rode up in Bagheera’s car with Tio, Feasting Man, and Jay-spoon in the back. Tio’s character was supposed to be Mexican, so he had brought a sombrero, which Feasting Man was now sporting. “Everybody keeps giving me weird looks!” said Feasting Man, looking out the window.

“I wonder why…!” Tio responded sarcastically. “We were eating cookie dough all the way up, then finally had to take it away from ‘the feasting man’. This was his latest nickname, since towards the beginning of the week we all made CSI shirts and put a Japanese kanji on the sleeve. Most people put things like; courage, fire, water, strength, (mine said dominance), and stuff like that. However, Feasting Man put ‘feasting man’ on his sleeve, and the name stuck.

We made it up to Kwanjagnim’s cabin and all gathered together around an empty fire pit. Bagheera was invited into the cabin to help set up for the mystery. “The rest of you stay out!” Kwanjagnim told us. We all stood idly around the fire pit. “Now what?” asked Fluffy. Luckily, there is hardly ever a dull moment for our team. We somehow got onto the subject of stupid laws.

“It’s illegal to walk down main street in Salt Lake City carrying a Ukelele.” Treasure told us.

“I’m so going to try that!” I said. “Did you know that it’s illegal to walk across the state border with a duck on your head?”

“What, do the have border patrol or something? Snipers waiting for somebody trying to cross the border with a duck on their head?” Zombie asked, then pantomimed shooting a duck off someone’s head.

“That should be our next team building activity!” Fluffy said. “The last person to be shot crossing the border with the duck on their head wins!”

“Yes!!” Coconut said jumping like it was the best idea ever.

“I heard some law that in some state it’s illegal to shower naked.” Jay-spoon informed us.

“How do you enforce that?” I asked.

“That’s what I want to know! ‘I saw you..’” Jay-spoon said acting it out, causing us all to burst out in laughter.

“It’s illegal to go whaling in Utah!” said Howler Monkey. “ There aren’t even any whales in Utah!!”

The dumb laws went on and on, and in the end we had decided that we were going to break every one of them and see if we got caught. The last one who isn’t arrested wins.

I started walking off and the whole team followed me. “Why are you guys coming with me?” I asked. They all looked at each other.

“I don’t know!” said Fluffy.

“Because we’re lemmings.” Said Tio. “You’re apparently the head lemming.”

“Yeah! We’re lemmings!!” Feasting Man agreed.

“Okay then! Come on lemmings!” I said. We then all proceeded to walk around the forest aimlessly.

“What are we doing!?” Treasure finally asked after a while.

“We’re following the head lemming! It’s not your place to question!” Tio responded.

I laughed, “Okay lemmings, lets go back to the fire pit.” So we all headed back to the fire pit and had nothing to do.

It was finally dinner and time to get ready for the mystery! I put on a black leather jacket, a green shirt, black slacks, and black boots. I was ready to go. While dinner was being prepared we all received our first clues. The first clue was to basically get to know the other characters. I was speaking in an amazing Italian accent the whole time and bragging about my work. Kwanjagnim kept talking nervously and fixing my jacket, Tio’s hat, and other things. She also kept touching random things. Her character must’ve been OCD. Bagheera’s name was Taylor Holmes, which was ironic, because I know a Taylor Holmes. She was British. Jay-spoon came up to me and asked, “How do you do a Tasmanian accent?”

“I have no idea.” I responded in my Italian accent. So his Tasmanian accent sounded like a mix between a british and a southern accent.

My next clue told me that I hated a man called Crick Watson because he stole information from me. So I went around telling people that I hated Crick Watson. I then found out that Kwanjanim didn’t like Crick, Bagheera didn’t like Crick, Jay-spoon didn’t like him, Treasure, Tio, Feasting Man, Zombie… Everyone hated him! “WHO IS CRICK WATSON!?!?” Zombie finally yelled.

All eyes moved toward Fluffy as he slowly raised his hand.

“It’s Crick Watson!” Howler Monkey yelled pointing at him, “Lets get him!!!” Everyone then started running toward Fluffy yelling things like, “Die Crick Watson!” “CRICK WATSON!!!” “DOWN WITH CRICK!!”

Fluffy screamed and started running into the forest while the mob followed still shouting at him. "No lynching!" Chungsanim warned us.

We chased him deep into the forest finally catching him. “What do we do with him?” Coconut asked.

“Please don’t kill me! Please!! I have a pretest tomorrow!!” Fluffy begged.

Eventually we had to return him to the cabin to get our next clues. My clue didn’t have a whole lot of information, so I started wandering around. Suddenly, Brick King asked, “Hey! Where’s Crick Watson?” We all looked around. He was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, Fluffy emerged from the cabin with a white face and a torn up shirt with writing on it. Chungsanim went up the stairs and started reading the shirt. “I have been murdered…” he was cut short by cheers of, “YAY!!” “Justice!” “Who did it? I need to send them a thank you note!”

“…I have been murdered…” it then proceeded to say something about how he had been killed, and please find my killer... blah blah blah.

“Maybe we shouldn’t find his killer. I kind of want them to get away with it.” I said. People agreed with me.

“No, we have to find the killer, it’s part of the game.” Treasure said almost reluctantly.

So we proceeded to solve the crime. We had to track finger prints, fill out notebooks, look for clues, then finally make a guess. I guessed that it was Chungsanim. Bagheera and Jay-spoon agreed with me. Then we all got another paper saying if we were guilty or not.

It turned out that my guess was right! Then Chungsanim grabbed a gun and said that he was going to shoot all of us, laughed maniacally, and ran towards the woods. He then stopped short and said, “Well, we were going to have an airsoft war at this point, but its too dark.” He looked at the sky. It really had gotten dark. The game took a lot longer than we thought.

“Plus,” Kwanjagnim added, “Treasure and Fluffy are pretesting tomorrow and need to go to bed.” This was greeted with a chorus of sympathy “oooh....”

“You guys can sleep in the loft.” Kwanjagnim told them. “Boys are sleeping outside in tents, girls are sleeping in the cabin. You guys can stay up as long as you want, but lights out at 11. Except for Fluffy and Treasure, you guys are going to sleep now!”

Unfortunetly for me, I had to leave early because of a wedding, but I love the SWAT retreat!